“Bad Boys” and that Chick Named “Karma”

Sunday, Sep. 12th 2010 6:58 PM

A recent reader, Briana, was kind enough to respond to one of my blogs. I appreciated her feedback. In her response she referred to an article in Urban Belle by Taren Vaughan, who discusses the archetype of the “Bad Boy.” Sometimes, Vaughan says, these bad boys change their “childish ways and really become a respectful and loyal individual;” or else “that chick named ‘Karma’ will surely find them before too long.”

I believe in Karma. I do my best to believe in it all of the time, and so I find it necessary to examine my motives and underlying intentions when I do the things that I do. I also work to be at peace with my current course of action, in part, because I will see it again. That being said, I see many situations when people invoke “Karma” as a substitute for giving rational reasoning when blasting other people’s actions. It seems that often when we find something distasteful, we call in “Karma” to do our judging for us.

Let’s look at some underlying assumptions in Ms. Vaughan’s invocation of Karma. In order to label anyone as a “bad boy” the beholder must have somehow determined what this “bad boy” should have been doing. After all, the concept of “Bad Boy” is based on defining the “Good Boy.” What is the karmic positioning of a person who proclaims how other people should act and decrees what is good and what is bad? What kind of Karma does a person who labels the opposite sex generate? She can expect to endure the same judgment someday, cast as good or bad according to someone else’s standards.

In her article, Ms. Vaughan did not really describe the actions of “Bad Boys.” She seemed to assume that we are all familiar with what she also assumed was a valid stereotype. The extent of her description was that they were “stuck in their ways and never gave it a second thought to change their unruly behavior.” And while I am not 100% sure what “unruly behavior” she was talking about, I can only assume (a lot of that going around) that she was not speaking of criminal behavior, but about behavior such as dating multiple women. Diverse litanies of significant dynamics occur between romantic partners. Heartbreak is real. And it hurts. However, I suggest that we make efforts to avoid judging those on the other side of our romantic spectrum. Particularly, I advocate eliminating harsh standards and terminology. Witness the difference: you can, with honesty and without judgment, say that someone did something or acted in a way that made you uncomfortable. Or you can label the action, behavior or person as “childish.” One statement remains within the realm of feelings you can attest to; the other is a judgment of how someone else chooses to live his or her life. Keep in mind, Karma is ahead: he who judges can only expect to be judged.

And, oh yeah, what is the karma ahead for the writer, who writes about other people’s articles or the writer that writes about the karmic future of a writer who writes about Karma? You can make that determination. But whatever the answer is, I am ok with it. When we are comfortable with the karma that we create, we are truly at peace.

Keep Rising,

Frank Love


…and please do not multi-task when driving.

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One Comment on ““Bad Boys” and that Chick Named “Karma””

  1. Spirit Says:

    I dont know about anyone else but my karma is intimate with me! It taps me on the shoulder ever so gently….sometimes not so gently….. whispering “Dear Spirit, look what you created”. I just smile and say “I LOVE ME! Whats NEXT?” I have stopped judging if the karmic return is good or bad. I surrender to being the creator of my reality and move forward.

    Be peaceful,


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