Seal & Heidi: It’s A Wrap

Sunday, Mar. 18th 2012 12:21 AM

Don’t you just love to see “real” love – the type of love that appears sweet, enduring, and long-lasting, where the parties hold hands everywhere they go and kiss all the time, as though it was the first week of their romance? I don’t. It doesn’t seem genuine to me. I don’t know about you, but I have been in my share of relationships, and I have never felt like holding hands all of the time – especially not when I was being watched. Maybe I’m a prude, but I don’t feel the urge to give my partner long, passionate kisses in public. And I don’t believe that people who act this way are sincere.

 

Case in point: Seal and Heidi Klum – a couple known for syrupy-sweet public displays of affection – recently announced their decision to split. This was a shock to their fans, especially since the singer and the supermodel renewed their wedding vows less than a year ago.

Unless you’re new to my blog, you already I know that my first reaction to celebrity couple news is typically, “Who cares?” But their love story has a lesson in it: Looks can be deceiving. When I see a couple constantly holding hands or kissing, they seem to me to be performing love, not living it. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. USA Today interviewed psychotherapist Bonnie Eaker Weil about the end of this seven-year marriage. As she put it, “Exposing yourselves so literally, as Klum and Seal did, is about overcompensation… they want to prove not only to themselves but to the rest of the world that everything is fine.”

It’s not just entertainers who put on a romantic show for us. Consider every U.S. president and First Lady you can remember. Every time we see them together, they’re holding hands. Descending the steps from Air Force One … holding hands. Standing on a campaign platform … holding hands. Walking across the lawn, with or without their children … holding hands. Dear Mr. President (past, present and future), please give me, the American public and, most importantly, yourself a break. I know you feel the need to be presidential and give the impression of a fairy-tale marriage, but I, for one, don’t want that from you. I don’t want you to try to convince me that you are better than me or that your relationship is better than mine. I want to know that you and your wife are real people — just like me. And real people get tired. Their hands get sweaty, and they don’t need to touch their partners all the time just to prove they love them.

Furthermore, by setting inauthentic and impossible romantic standards, famous couples often make love harder on us mere mortals. While public displays of affection do not convince me that two people love each other, lots of people do buy into it. And they start to wonder to themselves (and possibly to their partners), “Why aren’t we like that? Why don’t we hold hands like they do? Why aren’t we as lovey-dovey as we were in the beginning of our relationship?” The better question might be, “Why do they act that way?” or “Do they act that way when other people aren’t looking?”

That’s the trouble with comparing our relationships with those of other people; we only know as much as they let us see. And most celebrities and politicians aren’t going to let us see much that isn’t flattering – at least not intentionally.

I recently heard a woman say, “Oh no, Seal and Heidi Klum can’t split. I absolutely love them. They always seemed so into one another. I wish my relationship was like that.” I rest my case.

Keep Rising,

Frank Love
www.FrankLove.com

 

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Leave a Comment: Let Us Know Your Thoughts

How to Gracefully Exit a Relationship

11 Comments on “Seal & Heidi: It’s A Wrap”

  1. Shawna Garcia Says:

    Frank – when I read your post I get both feelings of anger and sadness running through my body!

    But for today, what I want to express is just my sincere desire to see two people fully committed to working on the relationship. I see people put more effort into work and hobbies (which I am including TV & computer) than actual effort into discussing adversities they are having or teamwork in building a successful family.

    What I’ve realized along my journey is that it takes two people sincerely committed to working on their individual issues together and separately, communication, humility, and the willingness to get in the game of LOVE and play full-out! Always easier said than done 🙂

  2. Jeffrey Shelton, LPC, LMFT Says:

    Frank,
    What you observe about Seal & Heidi can be called “Flight Into Love”. Maybe it happens most often with high profile couples who greatly value their public image and stand to lose a lot materially from divorce.

  3. Jimi Bruce Says:

    Kind of Sad.

  4. Leta Says:

    I like to see couples publically display their affection for one another. I am aware that sometimes it is used to mask true feelings, but because I am truly optimistic about love, my first thought when observing PDAs is that the couple really love and enjoy each other’s company. They are doing it because it feels good and because they want to. I don’t put their relationship on a pedalstool, I just admire their positive energy. When getting news of a breakup, celebrities or not, I think it’s natural feel somewhat disappointed. Most adults can agree that relationships have its ups and downs and being a celebrity doesn’t make you exempt. Love is one of the greatest equalizers.

  5. Gail A. White-Biggers Says:

    I really appreciate your perspective in this article. We do have a tendency to compare our relationship with others. My desire is to be an “authentic” person so that my marriage will be a reflection of truth and genuine love.

  6. Kathleen Sibirtzeff Says:

    You know the old saying ~ if it “appears” too good to be true…

  7. Robin Jones Says:

    So sorry to hear about their departure…

  8. Helena Malin Says:

    Hey Frank. Great job! Professional video beautifully done!

  9. Katharina Feldman Says:

    People are constantly changing, some people grow in different directions, and sometimes one grows and the other one doesn’t. I don’t thing we should ever assume anything about someone else’s relationship based on appearances. The saddest thing about this is that their children will have to be continuously juggled emotionally and from location to location.

  10. Jenny Triplett Says:

    We never know what goes on behind closed doors. Love i s a marriage is a love that comes from within and is projected outward. #marriagetip

  11. Michelle Says:

    I agree with Leta, I like it when I see 2 people open & honest about their love for one another. It shows me they don’t care what others think & if they are feeling it in the moment, go for it.

    I for one wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship with someone who’s afraid of being affectionate in public. Been there, no thanks.

    Not talking all the time, but when they are in the mood.

    I also agree with Katharina, relationships (like people) are constantly changing. Granted I can’t fathom why they renewed their vows if they were this close to splitting, so that tells me one of the 2 (or both) wasn’t being honest with the other, & probably wasn’t being honest even with themselves.

    I never saw them as a compatible couple, but that could have just been me & truthfully, I never saw them together, as I don’t watch that kind of thing. I have my own life to live. It was just a feeling, as she seems cold to me whenever I watched PR & of course his songs are full of emotion.

    Michelle

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