What Gets You in the Mood?

Monday, Jul. 2nd 2012 11:00 AM

Why do we have sex? What is the purpose? I raised these questions in a recent blog and explained what I believe to be the motivating factor behind most sex – intimacy. A research report entitled “Why Humans Have Sex” offers all sorts of other reasons and compares how men and women decide when to hit the sheets.


Subjects in this study were given the YSEX? questionnaire, which listed 237 reasons people have given for intercourse (e.g., pleasure, reproduction, stress reduction, revenge, pity, spirituality, etc), and asked to rate how frequently each of these reasons led them to have sex in the past.

Naturally, the results broke down a bit differently by gender. Researchers found significant differences on 123 (or 52%) of the questions. Of course, we know that not all men, or all women, are created the same. But the gender gap here is notable enough for an interesting discussion.

Women, for example, expressed greater sexual motivation for emotional reasons – such as ”I wanted to express my love for the person” and ”I realized that I was in love.” This supports the long-held theory that women prefer to have sex within a “committed” relationship. Of course, “committed” doesn’t mean monogamous for everyone, but the researchers used the word “committed,” and I’m just relaying the information.

I’m certainly not shattering any stereotypes when I report that men were motivated at higher rates than women for reasons not involving emotions – such as wanting to achieve an orgasm, because it felt good or because they were horny. However, before you ladies start judging us, I should share that, out of all of the questions related to Love and Commitment and Expression, women only noted a higher frequency in the two sentiments mentioned above. On the other 11 questions in this category, women answered no differently than men. So, you’re only 15-percent holier than us (smile).

Men also placed more importance on physical appearance, which isn’t really surprising to anyone who watches TV – or to scientists, who have long posited that men prioritize physical attraction because of what a woman’s body suggests about her fertility. I must admit that I’ve never looked at a woman and thought, “I don’t want to have sex with her. She might not be able to carry children to term successfully.” But to each, his own, right?

The study also found that men were more likely to have sex for utilitarian reasons (e.g., to change the topic of conversation, to get a favor from someone or to improve their sexual skills). Also, men were likely to seek increased social status by having multiple partners. But honestly, this takes us back to the chicken-and-egg conundrum; which came first – more women or more status.

The article, which you can read at FrankLove.tv, shares quite a bit more information and breaks the information down by other factors – like race and sexual experience. I had fun reading it. I hope you will too. And I look forward to hearing you thoughts.

And as always, here is to you being a Powerful Person in a Partnership.

Keep Rising,

Frank Love


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How to Gracefully Exit a Relationship

3 Comments on “What Gets You in the Mood?”

  1. Mike K. Says:

    Read a Book Called Sperm Wars if you want the real answers.

    The Love Doctor!

  2. Charles W Says:

    I agree brother. Intimacy is the basic movator in preparing to a sexual intercourse. Weather it being through conversation or touching. Good topic.

  3. mukundlal H.R. Says:

    Moods…..The whole world under its feet ! Just a glance & you are rocking !!!

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