Why Fear a Pretty Face?

Monday, Jul. 30th 2012 10:31 AM

If you’ve been reading Frank Love for a while, you know that I occasionally have a friend guest star in one of my weekly editions. This week, I am pleased to introduce Matthew Horne – an accomplished author and speaker – who will tell you how to deal with pretty faces … and not just his.


Recently, a good friend told me about seeing a gorgeous woman in a grocery store. According to my friend, she was a jaw-dropping traffic stopper, and every man she passed displayed a noticeable change in demeanor – resulting from their encounter with such a pretty face. He then described how men with their wives and kids, men who were there alone and even store employees acted as if time stopped when this beautiful woman walked by.

Some of these men were in a position to talk with her, but no one did anything except pause in admiration or redirect their shopping routes to catch an additional glimpse. They all let her slip away without saying a word. It’s obvious that this woman was what each of these men desired, and they couldn’t have all been married or in relationships, so what kept them from approaching her? Fear of a pretty face.

When I speak of the “pretty face,” it is a metaphor for whatever you believe is beyond your grasp in life – from the literal pretty face of a beautiful woman, to the dreams you want to achieve. People generally don’t get what they want from life because they are afraid to approach it.

One of the most important things my dad taught me early on in life is that the worst thing a girl can tell you is “no.” In my adult years, this statement evolved into, “The worst thing life can tell you is “no.” 

“No” is sometimes inevitable in life, especially when you’re on unfamiliar territory. But each “no” is instilling in you an understanding of what it takes to create a “yes.” Never lead with your ego when going after what you want. An ego is deterred by “no,” but humility sees that every “no” simply helps you identify a path that won’t get you where you want to be, so that you can try another one.

Beautiful women have a certain rhythm and cadence. They know they’re not the norm, and, in my experience, you won’t be successful with them until you understand their thought process, which will inevitably require a fair share of “nos.” But once you crack the code of understanding, the floodgates open.

Never allow the allure that surrounds what you want from life to intimidate you. Allure has no substance, but the only way to understand this is to get close enough to see for yourself. You can have the various things you want from life if you have the audacity to reach for them. The “yes” you’ve been waiting for is no further than your understanding of how to create it.

As a young gentleman in my late 20s, I enjoy a night out from time to time. I live in Washington, D.C., which offers whatever kind of night life suits me on any given day. The lifeline of these various spots is the influx of beautiful women who pour through the doors, evidenced by the many promotions that allow ladies complimentary admission. Why? Because at his core, every straight man wants a beautiful woman. Some gaze; some drool. But the only ones who stand a chance are those who approach.

That beautiful woman wants to be approached; otherwise, she wouldn’t have spent an hour in front of the mirror before leaving home. She might be single or taken, but at the end of the day, she carefully crafted her appearance with your approach in mind. Even if she’s in a relationship, she wants to know she’s still in demand.

Why have a standoff with something you desire if its’ goal is to be approached by you? There are no perfect moments in life except for the ones we create. Your dreams and desires are just waiting for your hesitancy to disappear. The result is a fearless approach. When this happens, you will find the various things you want from life are not as out of reach as you perceive them to be. A hesitant step will land you in the sea of normalcy; a fearless approach will unveil a world of possibility you never knew existed.

Keep Rising,

Matthew C. Horne

Matthew C. Horne, motivational speaker and author, is a world-renowned authority on maximizing human potential. He is the president and CEO of Optimum Success International, a speaking and publishing company located in the metropolitan Washington, D.C., area. He is the author of The Universe is Inviting You In, All We Have Is NOW, and his new book, Choices: The Young Black Man’s Guide to Successful Living. Horne is a contributing writer for The Washington Post Newspaper. He is available for speeches, book signings and interviews. Any experience with Matthew C. Horne, literary or auditory, will walk you to the doorstep of Your Best Life Possible! To learn more about Matthew C. Horne, visit www.matthewchorne.com.

PS: To become a Frank Love sponsor you can make a one-time contribution or contribute monthly by clicking on the amount you’d like to donate each month: $1, $2, $5, $10, $20, $35, $50, $75, $100, $200 or $500.


Enter your email address here to receive Frank Love’s latest article via email:

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • email
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • del.icio.us
  • Digg
  • Google Buzz
  • LinkedIn
  • PDF
  • Print
  • Reddit

Leave a Comment: Let Us Know Your Thoughts

How to Gracefully Exit a Relationship

3 Comments on “Why Fear a Pretty Face?”

  1. Nzinga Says:

    I will never forget being in my homeroom as a senior in high school. It was a few weeks before the prom and everyone was just about ready. A friend asked me about my plans and I told him I was going by myself. He was shocked, and seemed very genuine about it. He said he just knew I would have a date and would have asked me had he known i didn’t. I sometimes wonder how many other people ‘thought’ I had a date. Needless to say, I went to the prom – by myself – and had a good time. **shrugs**

  2. Michael T. S. Says:

    How about a wholly different angle? Since we are entitled to equal representation under the law, why do we have laws that create inequality? For example, marriage! Why does one of us pay more taxes than another merely by virtue of our marital status? Are we not equal?

    Frankly, my personal life is no place for the government to be nosing around. No one should be rewarded or penalized by the government for their lifestyle any more than their skin pigmentation or chromosomal arrangement. I believe that this opinion is completely overlooked at this point in American history, but will gain favor in generations to come as we become more keen on what ‘equality’ means to us and further work to separate church and state.

    “There is only one race, the human race.” ~ Michael Thomas Stewart

  3. Cassandria M. Says:

    Very informative about love and life. We must grab the passion of life. Take a risk. You never know if that risk would be good or not. Thanks Frank.

Leave a Reply